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We've been friends for over two decades, a person who's faced and conquered numerous hardships, her resilience is commendable. However, she's repeatedly blindsided by others. Her husband left her, and it was an unexpected event. A lot of her social circle vanished at that point, since they had been focused solely on him. She was stunned by her deeply. She made more effort in our friendship, likely grasped more acutely what friendship was.

The Pattern of Disappearance

Over the years, many close to her have disappeared without her being sure why. Her previous job turned on her, even though she was highly competent, she departed without knowing what had changed.

How Things Stand Now

In recent times, we've both stepped back from work so we're spending time together, but I am finding the part I play between us is as the audience. I introduce subjects and she changes the talk toward her own topics. Regarding political views, she holds strong opinions. I attempt to suggest verifying facts or other angles.

She's been organizing a trip to a nation I have traveled to on several occasions and lived in previously. I attempted to offer insights, but this was unappreciated. She purely just desired me to confirm her choices. I have ended 30 days in that place and she wants to meet, but I don't.

Considering the Choices

I don't want to be a friend that walks away without a word, however, I feel she can grasp the impact of her behaviour on how I feel about myself. Currently, I find myself in avoidance mode. How should I proceed?

Potential Solutions

You could end things abruptly, but it is seldom the easy answer we hope for. But confrontation aiming for resolution demands strength and openness on both your parts.

Therapists recommend trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Initially involves describing how things go when you talk. It should be objective and clear and essentially what a recording device would replay. Next is to express how this makes you feel. Ideally, there's no argument about this. Emotions are valid, of course. Finally involves requesting how you are both going to change the pattern in your relationship."

Consider that she also has her own side, meaning you must to stay open to acknowledge it. One effective method involves stating her:

"Please share your thoughts while I will not say anything for half an hour."

It's remarkably impactful to encourage mutual respect.

Key Takeaways

She could ignore all you say, for those who have a deep-seated story: they maintain a story about themselves they won't release as it feels essential is tied to it and it's all they've known. This is difficult because there's no thoroughfare with these people, only cul-de-sacs. Yet she could at first react this way and then think about what you've said. And should you never reach a resolution, you'll have closure that you've been honest with her.